Authentic Intentional Connections
In the MindSet curriculum we address the power of intentional connections during times of emotional crisis. It is imperative to understand that those acts of intentional connection with dysregulated individuals are deeply rooted in neuroscience. Authentic intentional connections are also the pathways to the development of positive relationships with all humans. Authenticity is developed through practice over time and hinges upon vulnerability and empathy.
We have all heard the phrase, “Fake it till you make it.” When it comes to intentional connection, I would rather focus on the phrase, “Practice makes perfect.” It’s our hope that authenticity will be the outcome. We believe acts of intentional connection can play an integral part in overcoming the continuous negativity that rages around us. Intentional connections can be a lifeline for those in deep distress, or stability for those who simply need a hand in times of turmoil. They are also those acts of acknowledging a person’s accomplishments and efforts.
Think of a time in your life when you just needed to be acknowledged by another person, you needed to be accepted for who you are, you needed to be validated for how you felt, and you needed to be empowered to make better decisions. Someone took the time to make an authentic connection. You didn’t need their advice, you didn’t need a champion, you needed an ally to sit with you as you moved from negativity to positivity through your own process. There are numerous opportunities every day to connect with others in this way. There also may have been times when you needed those very elements of connection from others and were met with judgment or silence. There is nothing more hurtful than to be ignored…
So why is it so hard to make those connections?
Perhaps we’ve had limited amounts of positive models of vulnerability growing up. Life is moving faster than ever for most families. With the constant pressure of everyday life, we have, at times, become unaware of how those closest to us are functioning. We rush from moment to moment with urgency and unrealistic expectations of unrealized accomplishments.Â
We strive for the very best for our children and our families while at the same time ignoring the obvious signs that our children need us to slow down and see them for who they are in the present moment.
Perhaps we are somewhat afraid of making deeper connections with those around us because those connections expose something about ourselves with which we are uncomfortable. It’s difficult to look into a mirror while looking at another human being, but it’s often the case. The key to managing this is humility and forgiveness. Understanding and accepting one’s own humanity while honoring and embracing the same in others. Namaste…
“Be not conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind…” Every moment in this world can be harsh, judgemental, punitive, and scary. Every moment in this world holds an opportunity to create a peaceful experience of growth through understanding of behavior in situations and of the feelings of those involved in the present moment. It’s not the particular relationship that you have with the individual, or the behavior in front of you that matters most in times of difficulty. How you choose to interact with the moment defines your motives behind the connection. Your motives will be defined by the outcome of the interaction. In the act of intentional connection with dysregulated individuals or disruptive events the key question is; “What’s our motivation for connection?”
- If our motive for intentional connection is to take control of a situation for the sake of our own agenda we will likely find ourselves in those situations with the same individuals on numerous occasions.
- If our motive for intentional connection is to remove an individual from an environment for the sake of others, we will likely create a separatist society in which people who function differently than the norm are not included and dignity is disregarded. Sound familiar?
- If our motive for intentional connection is to assist the individual in the development of problem solving skills and critical thinking, we will likely create relationships based on trust that will lead to inclusion rather than isolation, restoration rather than rejection, and love rather than hate.
There will always be something else that needs to be done and somewhere else to be. By prioritizing connections and capitalizing on moments we can develop deeper, more meaningful relationships which minimize future disruptions. One of the most difficult challenges in school environments is the daily demand for academic excellence while mitigating the entire spectrum of human behavior. At the same time, educators have members of their own community who have never been in their position criticizing them on social media platforms and in public. Often those unrealistic expectations lead those in authority down a negative path which results in the use of punitive measures to maintain control of the environment and creates emotional dissonance within the youth that we are here to serve. The truth is that we are in this moment with this individual for a specific purpose that is often beyond our comprehension. Will we avoid letting these pressures get in the way of making Authentic Intentional Connections and developing life-long relationships based on trust, empathy, and compassion?
Next Versions of the newsletters (Stay Tuned)
Emotional dissonance has been the norm for youths for generations and has resulted in disenchanted and disconnected people either withdrawing from the challenge of “fitting in,” or lashing out in anger and violence. We all know that the key to success for all children in education is a positive relationship with caring adults throughout their lives. There is always something else that needs to be done and somewhere else to be.
Expanding the MindSet Movement - Derrick Gilchrist
MindSet Safety Management is proud to incorporate trauma responsive philosophies into our Mindset Trauma Responsive Model Classroom (MTRMC). The necessity of this approach is two-fold. In order to create functional learning and teaching environments for all students and staff, we must recognize the ever-increasing stress that each person can bring to the classroom, and we must understand how these stressors can impact the brain, brain development, learning, teaching and relationships.
Studies have shown that upwards of 30% of students in any given classroom have suffered through four or more adverse childhood experiences. This heightened level of stress in such a significant number of students means there are many barriers to the teaching/learning process. Overcoming these barriers is often a source of frustration for children and burnout for teachers. Only when there is recognition and understanding can we then learn ways to mitigate these barriers to learning and teaching and create classroom climates that foster safety and connection- two components necessary for learning.
The Mindset Trauma Responsive Model Classroom is the result of our 60 years + cumulative experience in both residential and public school settings in roles including paraprofessional, classroom teacher, behavior specialist, board certified behavior analyst, administrator and program director. The creators of this model combine practical knowledge based on experience of what works for students with scientifically backed and evidence-based concepts from a variety of resources.
The Mindset Trauma Responsive Model Classroom’s integration of trauma responsive concepts creates safer teaching and learning environments for students exposed to trauma and toxic stress as well as students who may be dealing with mental health concerns. Our model for implementation seeks to build understanding of the neuroscience associated with student learning and to assist educators with establishing classrooms able to more systematically address the challenges of severe behaviors.
Our work to refine the process for training teachers in classroom operations and management is a global approach which was fostered by our long roots and relationship as trainers and implementers of the Mindset Curriculum. As challenging behaviors in the classroom environment have become more common, the urgency of providing classroom staff with a framework for understanding student behavior and offering a more structured and consistent approach to facilitating instruction on a daily basis, has greatly increased.
MindSet Safety Management is excited to share this holistic approach with educators across the country. We hope that our system for supporting students in your schools offer tools that can potentially mitigate teacher frustration and feelings of hopelessness, make your behavior support programs more efficient in the behavior modification process, and most importantly help all children maximize their potential.
“My hope is that we can effectively collaborate to shift MindSet from the realm of specialized programming and create a movement that will provide a framework for empathy.” -Steve McMahon
Ria Archibald- Write up to 1000 word article on the Behavior Coach Endorsement
Kimberly Hodges… Write up to 1000 word article on the Skillet
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